Love

How can it be that you can have such a difficult time loving
someone you so much would like to love? It is not always through
lack of effort. How important is that fizz? It sounds so
stupid; just plain stupid. Yet through the ages, people have
forever been associating themselves with people for whom they
physically have little in common with. Tenderness is very
important but is it enough? And how is it that in a couple, one
person can be so physically attracted to the other and not the
other way around? Why are relationships so complex? Is that
waht dedication is all about? Is that what sacrifice is all
about? Is it normal to sacrifice your wants during an entire
lifetime for something more noble than physical needs? If there
is an afterlife, if we do have more than one life, then perhaps.
But what an extreme sacrifice.

What about courage? What about the self? Should we be forever
enslaved to our choices even though we at one point realize they
weren't necessarily the right ones? And perhaps at the time,
they were the right choices but for reasons beyond our control,
the options have changed. Or perhaps, the reasons are not
totally beyond our control but we have grown up, changed, grown
more knowledgeable, wiser and we realize there are other possible
options. What about feelings? Hurting people. Should we once
again sacrifice certain aspects of our lives for a better cause?
Should we simply live with our decisions and strive to channel
our sexual energy toward causes that could improve the quality of
life in our society? Is it even human to consider such actions?
such questions? Is it striving for the impossible? Is it normal
or is it thinking we are better than others? How do you
conciliate a family, ideals, high ideals with those kinds of
actions? It is idealistic to strive for such things. Humans are
so fallible. With such high ideals, we are setting ourselves up
for an extremely difficult path with a lot of risk of failure.

Would it not show more courage to throw in the towel and say to
someone: I do not love you the way that you love me, I do not
mean to hurt you but I feel we must part and pursue the chance of
a more fulfilling life. But the other person doesn't care
whether or not you love him or her in the same way he or she
loves you. That is why you have come together to begin with.
They have been ready to accept what you have been, are able to
give, in whatever amount, whatever the risks for the joy or
whatever of being with you. What are your the implications in
all of this? The same kind of committment does not exist within
the two parties. What do you do about temptation? Is that where
the challenge lies? Is that what leadership qualities are all
about? One struggles with temptation and if one is strong
enough, one resists for the greater good. In principle, it is
clear that that is what one must do. In practice, it is a next
to impossible feat. And finally, why would anyone even want to
strive for such next to impossible ideals? It seems like the
life of a monk. Is it rewarding? Does it even matter whether or
not it's rewarding when you consider it in a bigger picture?

I really don't know if I am made of the kind of stuff that is
necessary to consider such options. AC


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