May12, 1995.

I'm going for a barbecue at Sheppy's and it's nearly a snowy day.
I'm going to be driving a standard car, I don't quite know my
way. It should be interesting. I think it's Sheppy's birthday
too.

Told Bertrand I had applied for a job at St. Boniface College.
He was very understanding and hoped I got it. I know if they
offer it to me, it's the right thing to take it. No matter how
much I love teaching the military, I don't have much future
there. I also can't stick around for the love of my students. I
see Martine, quickly aging partly because of the long hours and I
don't want it to happen to me too. I also realize to what point
sentimental reasons are keeping me at the Alliance and I'm not
one to be too sentimental when it comes to earning a living. I
have learned some smarts along the years. If I don't get the
job, Bertrand said there would always be full-time work for me at
the Alliance. He also told me I was the best teacher, better
even than Monique whom I thought was very good with her some 18
years of experience. She told me she even has a language school
in Nova Scotia with a partner.

I am silly enough to think of Steve too and I realize that one of
the reasons I would like to stay at the Alliance is just for the
chance to see him again, to teach him again. Not a good enough
reason to keep a job. No, I do very much enjoy that work. I
like the military, I like the Alliance courses, but if I so enjoy
teaching, I should also enjoy teaching at College too.

As for Steve, only the future will tell. I am learning more and
more about the world of the Armed Forces and I see that their
traditions, structure, ideals might not accept a person of my
background. I see too that with that background, I would not
necessarily be an asset to a military man, especially not an
officer. So, may as well drop my dreams and day dreaming before
it gets too serious.


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